Written by Ms. Blue
Ladies, have you heard? There’s a not so new trend in town.
Merkins are making a very
(albeit arguably) fashion forward comeback.
What’s that? You’ve never heard of a merkin? Then allow me to enlighten you.
According to The Oxford Companion To The Body merkins date back to 1450, a period in history when personal hygiene was…uhhm…er…lacking and having pubic lice was almost a given. To avoid the constant itching and more than likely very unseemly scratching, women of the day shaved their pubic hair and then covered their bald patches with merkins. As one would expect, way back then before the advent of condoms and penicillin, pubic wigs were also quite popular with ‘ladies of the evening’, who used them to hide the more tell tale signs of sexually transmitted infections from their unwitting customers (yikes!).
As for the word merkin itself, it is commonly believed to be derived from malkin, meaning “mop.” Apparently, these muff covers did double duty when they first hit the scene, and while not covering a women’s delicate bits, they were used to ‘mop up” after a roll in the hay.
Luckily, the contemporary uses for merkins don’t include concealing STIs or soaking up love juices post coitus (ewww!). Today merkins are used for any number of reasons, including…
Muff beautification: Women now use pubic wigs to enhance their natural assets and rouse their partner’s appetite for sex. Nowadays merkins are generally not made out of hair, but come in a wide range of colours and textures including fur, feathers and simulated bacon.
Avoiding Full Frontal Censorship: Many a Hollywood starlet has donned a merkin to avoid displaying her delicates and a visit from the censorship board, while shooting scenes that require varying degrees of nudity.
Hiding ‘Unsightly’ Bulges: Yes, pubic wigs are a drag queen’s best friend as they are an attractive and fashionable way to hide that pesky bulging manhood when necessary.
Fashion Statements: With big name designers like Gianni Versace designing haute couture pubic wigs in the 90s and Lady Gaga sporting on Much Music Video Awards just last year, the once lowly merkin has gone (if only in more avant garde circles) mainstream.
Think a merkin is just the type of adornment your vajayjay needs? Well, if you’re not lucky enough to live a big city where you can easily pick up a pubic wig after your Brazilian wax, you can buy one on the cheap here. Or better still, be a ‘vajazzling’ fashionista and trendsetter by designing one of your own.
Ms. Blue is also a writer for www.metanotherfrog.com. You can follow Ms. Blue on Twitter @skyemetafrog.
